didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
