is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
