This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
