ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
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