He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
