Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
