turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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