i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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