Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Randomize
