you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
