the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
