I'm eating all of the evidence.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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