we have officially lost it.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I deserve this hangover.
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
