the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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