Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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