happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
Randomize
