I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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