My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
