that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
