Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize