Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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