Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
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