Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize