im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Randomize
