hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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