He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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