I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
she woke up with a sticky ear
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
