I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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