I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize