Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize