I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
