I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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