I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
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