he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize