i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize