he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize