OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize