She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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