I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
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