Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
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