we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Sorry about my life...
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
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