do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
