We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I didn't shave. On purpose
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I'm sobbing to NWA
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
