32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
