Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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