3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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