I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
