Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
Randomize
