this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Come see our sink grown plant.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
