i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Randomize
