I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
