you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
