im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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