I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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