I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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