If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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