Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
