You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
