Princesses don't give blow jobs
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Randomize
