She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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